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Geek News Roundup - Week Ending July 5, 2008

By Great White Snark | July 5, 2008

Every week, I stick my fingers into the dark and varied crevices of the internet tubes to pluck out nuggets of geeky news. Every weekend, I share with you–the fortunate reader–the top seven gems in movies, TV, comics, and video games.

MOVIES

Terminator Salvation

Netflix - Only $4.99 a month! No Late Fees. Try it for Free!

TV / DVD

GI Joe Resolute

Get a TiVo factory-renewed HD DVR for just $199.99!

COMICS

Final Crisis

Buy Comics at Things From Another World

VIDEO GAMES

Rock Band 2

Pre-order video games on Amazon

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    Geeky Curiosity of the Week: The Top Five Awful R2-D2 Cakes

    By Great White Snark | July 2, 2008

    Here on GWS, I regularly lavish goodwill and praise upon honest-to-goodness talented cake artisans who bless our Yahweh-forsaken little planet with the simple joys elicited by first-rate geeky cakes.

    But it’s time once again to turn our attention to the ham-handed, artistically-impaired, wannabe cake makers who bring another sort of pleasure to you and me, the arbiters of these sorts of pastry proceedings: the petty joy of scorn and derision.

    Mmmmmmm… delicious pettiness.

    5)

    Awful R2D2 Cake 5
    Source

    I wonder if R2 screamed when they took his legs. Or was he too busy doing his impression of a cheap piñata…?

    4)

    Awful R2D2 Cake 4
    Source

    Eli, Mommy knows that you wanted a cake for your birthday, but Mommy could only find a container of vanilla frosting, a box of pancake mix, and half a tube of food coloring in the cupboard this morning, ok?

    Now run along and play, Eli. Mommy drank too much happy juice last night and needs a nap.

    3)

    Awful R2D2 Cake 3
    Source

    Yeah, if that’s R2-D2, then by the same criteria (”Duhhhr, it’s basically got all the right parts, duhhhrrr…”), I’m Twiki from Buck Rogers.

    Perhaps, cake maker person, you should select a simpler subject for your next effort. In the meantime, I wouldn’t take any tests that depend on an aptitude for photographic recall. That wouldn’t go well for you.

    2)

    Awful R2D2 Cake 2
    Source

    This is either a unfortunate stab at modern impressionism or the efforts of a spindly-armed stoner with A.D.D. Either way… this is one poor, misshapen bastard.

    1)

    Awful R2D2 Cake
    Source

    Listen, it’s one thing to use M&Ms in lieu of frosting to detail R2’s exterior (P.S. what the fug?), but it’s another to be completely arbitrary about the design. At this point, why not make him a fedora out of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups and call it a day?

    Talkback: Chime in, people! Which one’s your (least) favorite?

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    Top Ten: What Would Wonder Woman Twitter?

    By Great White Snark | July 1, 2008

    I like to think that when Wonder Woman isn’t polishing her indestructible bracelets and picking star-spangled wonder-wedgies out of her Amazonian derriere, she enjoys kicking back with her official Justice League-assigned BlackBerry to micro-blog her life on Twitter.

    Wonder Woman

    If you’re unfamiliar with Twitter, it’s a service that allows you to publicly notify your friends and contacts of your daily activities and thoughts in quick, 140-character-or-less updates from your phone or computer. Which is ridiculous in theory, but addictive in practice.

    1. At the Justice League happy hour. Gods! Green Arrow mixes a formidable appletini. I need to lie down.
    2. @TheFlash Just once I’d like to come home to my room in the Watchtower and not find you rooting through my underwear drawer.
    3. Sometimes I feel ridiculous flying the invisible jet. Like a mime doing a really good ‘driving the car’ impression.
    4. @Zeus Just found out that Clash of the Titans is getting remade(!). Do you know who’s playing you?
    5. Feelin good. Doesn’t happen all the time, but I am totally rocking my tiara today.
    6. I’d love to get the Lasso of Truth around Batman and find out if he’s been stuffing that codpiece.
    7. @BlackCanary Are we still on for Sex and the City on Friday?
    8. Ugh. Indestructible bracelets I can’t remove = swamp rot on my arms after a shower. (Too much info?)
    9. Um, hello, @Superman! My eyes are up here! ”Big blue boy scout,’ my ass.
    10. Who keeps leaving the toilet seat up in the Watchtower lav?

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    Geek News Roundup - Week Ending June 28, 2008

    By Great White Snark | June 29, 2008

    Every week, I stick my fingers into the dark and varied crevices of the internet tubes to pluck out nuggets of geeky news. Every weekend, I share with you–the fortunate reader–the top seven gems in movies, TV, comics, and video games.

    MOVIES

    Red Sonja

    Netflix - Only $4.99 a month! No Late Fees. Try it for Free!

    TV / DVD

    Batman Gotham KnightBatman Gotham Knight

    Get a TiVo factory-renewed HD DVR for just $199.99!

    COMICS

    Michael Turner Aspen Comics

    Buy Comics at Things From Another World

    VIDEO GAMES

    Diablo 3

    Pre-order video games on Amazon

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    The Top Five Costumes You Will Not See at the MET’s ‘Superheroes: Fashion and Fantasy’ Exhibit

    By Great White Snark | June 27, 2008

    Through September, the New York Metropolitan Museum of Art is offering the “Superheroes: Fashion and Fantasy” exhibit, taking a look at the influence of comic book costumes upon high fashion and sportswear.

    The symbolic and metaphorical associations between fashion and the superhero are explored in this compelling exhibition. Featuring movie costumes, avant-garde haute couture, and high-performance sportswear, it reveals how the superhero serves as the ultimate metaphor for fashion and its ability to empower and transform the human body.

    How very enlightened of the New York MET to look upon superhero costumes with such respect and insight. I’m sure I’ll be all the rage when I wear my Batman cowl and matching codpiece on my next trip to Paris or Milan.

    But somehow I bet the MET neglected these five gems.

    5) Sunfire’s Mask

    Sunfire Mask 1 Sunfire Mask 2

    Not only does Sunfire’s mask conceal his secret identity, but it also allows him to crash an old-fashioned New Orleans masquerade party whenever the mood strikes him.

    Side note to aspiring superheroes: when your mask looks like a prehistoric butterfly trying to hump your face, it’s time to head back to the drawing board.

    4) Anything Marvel Created in the 1970s

    Dazzler Power-Man Iron Fist 1970s Gamora 1970s

    Marvel had a very simple formula for outfitting its heroes during the 1970s: skin-tight unitards with v-necklines more deeply plunging than Deep Throat and popped collars more towering than John Travolta’s hairdo in Saturday Night Fever.

    Not that I have anything at all against some hearty side-cleavage, but I haven’t seen a look this dated since John McCain got dressed up for President Lincoln’s wedding. (Get it? He’s totally old. I’m here all week, folks.)

    3) Ghost Rider’s Leather Ensemble

    Ghost Rider

    This is what a night with Ghost Rider looks like: he dons his tight leather jacket and pants, wraps himself in chains and spikes, and cruises around on his motorcycle looking for naughty boys to torment.

    If that doesn’t scream “S&M,” then I’m a super-brilliant actor named Nicolas Cage. Who likes to eat baby penguins. And koala bears.

    2) Nova’a Non-Costume

    Frankie Raye Nova

    Street festivals here in San Francisco had the market cornered on “naked and flaming” long before Frankie “Nova” Raye came along.

    1) Anything Designed by ‘Artist’ Rob Liefeld

    Rob Liefeld Captain America

    In reality, it would take a steroidal weight-lifter with short, gimpy mutant arms carrying a camping backpack filled with smooth boulders on his chest to fill out the Captain America costume that Liefeld has designed here.

    Liefeld’s other abuses of the human form have been extensively and hilariously documented.

    Thanks to Nima of Equinox of Insanity for contributing to this post.

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    Giveaway: Win The Spiderwick Chronicles 2-Disc Field Guide Edition DVD!

    By Great White Snark | June 26, 2008

    The two-disc “Field Guide” special edition of The Spiderwick Chronicles hit stores this past Tuesday, and Paramount has made a shiny new copy available to GWS to give away to a lucky reader.

    So, if you’re (a) lucky and (b) a reader, you’ve already improved your odds of warming these discs in your personal DVD machine box sometime very soon.

    Ok, Paramount, hit me with a synopsis!

    From the best-selling series of books comes an extraordinary fantasy adventure, revealing the unseen world that exists all around us. From the moment the Grace family moves into a secluded old house peculiar things start to happen. Unable to explain the accidents and strange disappearances, the Grace children, Jared, Simon and Mallory start to investigate and find the unbelievable truth of the Spiderwick Estate and the amazing creatures that inhabit it.

    Oh, plus that whole second-DVD’s worth of bonus material. That’s a $22.99 value on Amazon, people. (Unfortunately, those are American dollars, but still…)

    All you have to do to enter to win the DVD set is leave a comment on this post, indicating the kids-friendly fantasy movie that you still love as an adult.

    (I totally call dibs on Willow.)

    Make sure you leave a valid e-mail address in the “Mail” field. I’ll select the winners at random and announce them in an update to this post next Thursday, July 3rd.

    UPDATE: Congrats to Debbie, who won the DVD. Debbie, let me urge you to diversify your film palate if Night at the Museum was one of your favorite movies of the past few years. Spiderwick will be decent start.

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